The Odd Mix

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Location: Virginia, United States

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

The One with Substance…

OK, how about worthwhile content… Um, high word count? Can I have high word count?

I promised content yesterday, but here we are. Nothing massive to post about today, so I thought I’d get a bunch of little things that have been piling up in the back of my lint-roller brain for a week plus.

The weeds are here!

By which I refer, not so much to the cherry blossoms, but to the crop of tourists they bring to this sometimes not-so-fair city. It is like a taste of summer hell while it is still un-hot and un-muggy. I have been a tourist many times; I have stood gaping at new sites; I have taken gazillions of snapshots; and I am sure I have pissed off a local or two in my day. Now, I take time when I am walking to give (correct) directions to lost souls wandering DC with an upside-down map, bad fashion choices, and a hundred pounds of camera gear. There are some great things to see here and I do my best to ensure they get seen.

But sometimes they freaking drive me crazy – mostly because they don’t know the “rules”. They don’t know that there is a fast and slow lane on the escalators. They don’t know how to use the fare machines. They don’t know not to just stop and block the sidewalk the instant they see the Washington Monument.

Humbug. Well, at least I don’t have to drive with them.

And speaking of bad fashion…

I am about to pee on one of the proverbial third rails, but here goes.

I am no Clinton Kelly, but usually I can recognize a poor fashion choice when it smacks me upside the head. I saw an outfit a couple of weeks ago that made me cringe. Then I saw it again that afternoon and I took a photo. I was going to try my hand at FUG Thursday. Then I saw a different woman wearing a similar outfit (I took another picture) and I began to get this horrible feeling in my gut. Then, as if to bring the nightmare crashing down on me, I witnessed a third woman wearing this abomination in the cafeteria.

Somebody please tell me I will wake up and the ragged muslin Capri’s with high heeled black boots and short jacket will have gone away.



OK, ducking now…

Moving Kit Funny… Or Maybe Not

There are two houses on the land we lease for our horses. In May we are going to move from one to the other (long story for another post) so I bought a “moving kit” (read: bundle of boxes and packing materiel) from Costco. When I got it home and took a closer look at it I started laughing out loud.

Do you see it?

Look closer.

It is kind of blurry. It says, “Truck Not Included”. Do you suppose someone was just being funny? Or did some lawyer actually advise them that they needed a disclaimer that this 3 x 4 x 1 foot box did not actually contain a moving truck? If so I will stop laughing and start crying.

More Government Approved Money Wastage

I like gardens. I have one at home. I take pictures of them at lunch time. I like winter gardens, too. A very attractive environment can be created from hardy plants. But planting thousands of potted pansies outside every three or four weeks through the winter months because they die and look ugly seems a bit silly – even for a government agency.


More flowers

These actually bloomed with the coming of spring!
Now that the daytime temperatures are reliably above freezing, I am faced with a new challenge - keeping my children in shoes. Yes I can afford shoes, what I mean is that they don’t want to wear them. They are sneaky about it, too. If they don’t just slip outside without them, or take them off and leave them in the front yard to be hit by the mower, they wait until I am in the middle of doing something complicated (like fixing dinner, or doing brain surgery, or changing a poopy diaper, or all three simultaneously) and say, loudly, “Dad, can I go outside?...” and then softly caveat, “…in bare feet?See how that works? My one-track brain is already taxed by at least three tracks which must be followed; I hear that someone wants to get out of my hair (yes, I know, I am bald); and I respond with an enthusiastic “Yes!” They are out the door and gone before I can process the caveat. Oh, well – I suppose they will come in before the frostbite is too bad.
Happy Spring!

15 Comments:

Blogger clara* said...

haha that ruck thing was great. hee...

love the flower pics btw...

2:08 PM, April 05, 2006  
Blogger clara* said...

truck.

heh, oops.

2:09 PM, April 05, 2006  
Blogger WILLIAM said...

Great pics. Truck not included that is funny.

3:29 PM, April 05, 2006  
Blogger MomToTracyNSheri said...

LMAO! Too many funny things to address but I'm with you on the capris with heeled boots. YUCK!

8:07 PM, April 05, 2006  
Blogger Katie said...

The outfit MIGHT not be so bad, but why is it always people with a wide load that do those things? They're just begging to get noticed.

8:27 PM, April 05, 2006  
Blogger mama_tulip said...

*Gorgeous* flower pictures! Just what I needed to see today.

8:53 AM, April 06, 2006  
Blogger Tink said...

Stupid box people. They should label their heads, "Brains not included."

LOVED the pictures of the flowers. I totally envy you. Hoops grandmother has a couple Grapefruit trees that just went into blossom. I have to resist the urge to bury my face in them.

The outfits are horrible. They look like they're going out to catch them some clams. LOL

8:53 AM, April 06, 2006  
Blogger Odd Mix said...

clara*: LOL - I understood the first time. Hope Milo is unwell.

william: Thanks for stopping by and checking on my slacker butt last week.

momto...: I am still afraid that is considdered current fashion - but at least I am not alone in my revulsion.

katie: Isn't it odd how so many people make fashion choices that are inappropriate for their body type? Do you suppose we are all blind, or just self delusional?

mama t: Thanks, I hope your head is feeling better.

tink: "Brains not included." and catching clams - ROFLAMO.

Don't grapefruit trees have thorns? If so, burying your face in one seems indicative of a poor decision making process.

9:18 AM, April 06, 2006  
Blogger Odd Mix said...

"ROFLAMO"??? am I an idiot or a poor typist? You decide.

Laughing Ass My Off?

9:20 AM, April 06, 2006  
Blogger LynAnne said...

My favorite is the low rise jeans where you can see their crack and thong. Let's face it, that sort of thing might look great on a supermodel but when the rolls surround the thong strap such that it's barely visable, perhaps it's time to pick a more modest outfit? (Or maybe I'm just jealous because I don't have enough self confidence in my body to dress like that?)

I envy the flowers! We are just starting to see the grass green up. We don't even have buds on the trees yet.

The box is too darn funny!e

12:21 PM, April 06, 2006  
Blogger Kelli said...

Hello there. Thanks for stopping by "Roaring..." today & commenting. I must confess, I've been lurking a bit in the past weeks on your site. 1st, you have the most gorgeous children.
2nd, I love reading about adventures in horse-dom & that you & your wife are giving that life a shot!
Eventually, (once I get NYC out of my blood) my boyfriend & I would like to go into debt with a farm & horses. I have grown up being a horse-woman & think they're just about the greatest thing on earth.
I look forward to reading more soon!

3:04 PM, April 06, 2006  
Blogger Tink said...

LAMO. Ahahaha. Sounds like Lame-O. "And Lame-O was his Name-O!"

Do they have thorns?! I should probably research that before I dive head first into the tree huh?

3:20 PM, April 06, 2006  
Blogger Gidge said...

yeah.........boots with "culottes" or "gauchos" or whatever the heck we're calling them now, was HUGE this winter.
Doesn't mean it looks good, just means Vogue told us to wear it.

I once saw a picture advertising a back support pillow. In small letters under the photo it said "spine not included".

Yeah.

11:19 PM, April 06, 2006  
Blogger R. Robyn said...

This post deserves like 5 comments. But I can't come up with that many. Beautiful pictures, stupid women, and well-informed consumer!

6:28 AM, April 07, 2006  
Blogger Kami said...

Cracking me right up.

Pretty, pretty flowers!!

10:52 AM, April 07, 2006  

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