Oh, Hurt Me So Good…
I got a massage. Sounds good, right? I have never before enjoyed someone inflicting so much pain on my body so much.
I am not into pain. I have been suffering for a long time from old self abuses (voluntary and otherwise), poor physical condition (OK, so I need to exercise more), and the sporadic but intense nature of my secondary profession (farmer). Life has not been good to my body. Some people thrive on the military life, I did not. I have ailments from stem to stern, most of which are orthopedic in nature. I would like to get in shape, but doing so just hurts so damn much, the motivation is hard to maintain. Enough moaning.
I got tired of hurting when I move my body so my wife sent me to Jen. She is a massage therapist who sidelines as an Equine Massage Therapist. There were moments this weekend when I thought she had the two confused. This weekend she focused on the pressure points in my right Scalene muscles. For those of you not anatomically educated (like me until this weekend – after which I am NEVER likely to forget where my Scalenes are) these are the muscles that run from just below your ear to your clavicle. Think Vulcan nerve pinch.
Whooo, Brother! Now I want to caveat this by saying this is just one of the types of massage she does, she did ease up if I asked, and my back and arm are better than they have been in quite some time. But – as I was saying – Whoooo, Brother! The right front side of my neck feels like I volunteered to be the kicking target for an advanced Karate class. Just by putting pressure on this muscle she provided me with interesting sensations ranging from my fingertips to my shoulder blade to my forehead. She made things move on their own in my neck, my back, and in my arm. She made me hurt and like it. Sounds kinky – it wasn’t. It was what it was.
Was it worth it? Well I am going to go pay her another $70 to hurt me next weekend. And the weekend after that… If you need a massage in Northern Virginia, let me know.
I am not into pain. I have been suffering for a long time from old self abuses (voluntary and otherwise), poor physical condition (OK, so I need to exercise more), and the sporadic but intense nature of my secondary profession (farmer). Life has not been good to my body. Some people thrive on the military life, I did not. I have ailments from stem to stern, most of which are orthopedic in nature. I would like to get in shape, but doing so just hurts so damn much, the motivation is hard to maintain. Enough moaning.
I got tired of hurting when I move my body so my wife sent me to Jen. She is a massage therapist who sidelines as an Equine Massage Therapist. There were moments this weekend when I thought she had the two confused. This weekend she focused on the pressure points in my right Scalene muscles. For those of you not anatomically educated (like me until this weekend – after which I am NEVER likely to forget where my Scalenes are) these are the muscles that run from just below your ear to your clavicle. Think Vulcan nerve pinch.
Whooo, Brother! Now I want to caveat this by saying this is just one of the types of massage she does, she did ease up if I asked, and my back and arm are better than they have been in quite some time. But – as I was saying – Whoooo, Brother! The right front side of my neck feels like I volunteered to be the kicking target for an advanced Karate class. Just by putting pressure on this muscle she provided me with interesting sensations ranging from my fingertips to my shoulder blade to my forehead. She made things move on their own in my neck, my back, and in my arm. She made me hurt and like it. Sounds kinky – it wasn’t. It was what it was.
Was it worth it? Well I am going to go pay her another $70 to hurt me next weekend. And the weekend after that… If you need a massage in Northern Virginia, let me know.
posted by Odd Mix | 12:15 PM
6 Comments:
I love massages. When I'm pregnant, I get one on a monthly basis.
Massages are great! I had a friend that used me as a Guinea Pig while she was going to school for it. Much better than the friend who used me while in nursing school. No needles and peeing in cups this time around.
I hope it helps!!
awww, I wish I could get a massage over the internet! North Virginia is just a little too far away (and too snowy right now!)
Hey can you email me? I want to include you in a recipe exchange email thing... figured you might be into it seeing as you like to cook. raisingliam@gmail.com
Thanks!
Oh and massages are AWESOME.
TGIM bought me a spa massage for our anniversary, and WOO BUDDY! Although I was absolutely LOVING the heated bed and blankets, that woman? She hurt me. Hurt me GOOD. I was actually sore the next day and I wondered, Okay, what was the point of that?! I can only imagine what kind of damage a woman with hands used to massaging horseflesh could inflict. Oooh, the hairs on my neck just stood on end...
So... did you at least get the heated bed?
(Okay, I may have liked the massage a LITTLE bit. Fine, a LOT! Geesh! Twist my arm why doncha?!)
Nice....I feel a little less tense just reading that.....
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